I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
