i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
