Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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