i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Porn is love you can see.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Boobs speak an international language.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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