god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
