I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
