omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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