Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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