hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
