32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
