I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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