so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
