Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I need a burrito and a hug.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize