Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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