So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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