you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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