he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
