Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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