Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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