I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
