He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
