bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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