there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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