i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize