DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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