another moral hangover. fuck.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
