I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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