Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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