Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
