You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize