Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
