i need an iv and a liver transplant
barbara walters just said penis...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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