Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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