I have demons in me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
