At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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