I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
