I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
