She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
