My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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