I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
