I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize