They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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