mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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