Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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