I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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