I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
