do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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