Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
