dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
