HIV tests are more positive than that guy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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