You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
