I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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