Buhtt sex?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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