Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
