did you get engaged???
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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