so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
