fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
